Grad School, idk? Job? Prob!

So, I officially applied to one graduate program (the Marine Science and Conservation program at Duke for the Wong Lab) and I reached out to a couple of other PI's whose labs I was interested in but none of them were currently looking for students so I only applied to the one program at Duke. I know I want to get my PhD because I feel like in order to actually get stuff done with research you have to devote several years to a project in order to really get to know the ins and out of your research topic and yeah there are other reasons why I would just rather get my PhD right away instead of getting my masters first. The only caveat is that a PhD does take significantly more time, which is also a pro given the aforementioned point of why I don't want a masters however it's just a bigger commitment so I would not want to apply to a degree program for a lab that I am not extremely enthusiastic about in terms of both research and living location, even though I know that stuff is flexible but you get my point hopefully. The other caveat (so I guess there isn't only one lol, and this one I feel like is an even bigger caveat) is that getting a PhD will in a sense disqualify me from other positions that I think I would enjoy having even if only for a few years prior to pursuing my PhD and then a "real" big girl job/career that I would be 'locked in' to (not actually but typically you don't work seasonal jobs here, there and everywhere with a PhD). I do think it would be beneficial for me and also just fun to do to work some seasonal jobs that are research adjacent but also more conservation based and just utilize that as a means to explore myself/my interests and explore the world around me and meet new people and do cool things that I am passionate about and learn about more things that I could do long-term.

However .... in spite of all of this reasoning about what to do with my future, I emailed back Dr. Wong to see if I could possibly interview with her/tour Duke in person and she said I wasn't being considered for an interview so not going to lie I am kind of bummed because I also really do like what her lab does and I like the little community there and the Duke Marine Laboratory and it just seems like a place that I would really enjoy living and research that I would really enjoy doing. I am not too too bummed though because I know that if it was meant for me then it would be, kind of going back to the saying that goes like "desire is the root of all unhappiness" (I know I probably butchered that). But basically, I am like darn but I know that its okay and I am okay living with the uncertainty of what I will be doing next and I find it quite exciting, especially given its the start of a brand new year. Last year at this time I didn't know what I will be doing and I just assumed I would be in the same place and almost bought a gym membership with a one year commitment and then I was like wait a minute and I cancelled it and I am glad that I did because I spent the second half of the year living in Louisiana. Anyways, even though I was kind of rejected there is still a chance that I am offered admission which is still exciting and good, but as my friend Bridget says, I am not attached to any outcome. Whatever will be will be. Therefore, I am now looking for jobs and writing nonstop cover letters (not actually I've written like two but I have also been doing other stuff related to my actual research project) and there is actually two jobs that I am supposed to be applying to right now and working on the cover letters for but I am procrastinating by writing this blog post. I also realized that I never really explained my project, so I will do so in a following blog post but just briefly.

Anyways, the two jobs I am applying to right now is Marine Biologist (ASM) for this company and I am pretty qualified regarding the qualifications they provided and the job description, but the job post said to write a cover letter detailing my sea and fish experience and I don't even know what that really means but I guess I will just write something. I am also kind of worried because I will be on a boat for multiple days at a time, probably with men I don't really know or trust, and I would probably be the only science person so they could judge me or be mean to me. I don't think so though, at least I hope not. I do think it's a pro though that I will be on trips that could be up to 14 days in a row and for each day you get paid for 12 hours (even though you are on the boat constantly) but that's not bad, I feel like I would rather work a lot all at once and it also just seems like a cool job, like I bet I would see some cool creatures. The other job I am applying to is Accessible Wildland Trails Research Intern, which is actually less applied to like biological research and is more about improving accessibility to trails (specifically I think for disabled people) and that is so cool and awesome but also the job like doesn't really pay that great but also I get free housing so not bad. Okay anyways, I am supposed to go have lunch now so bye, but my website is linked to my CV so if any of the potential employers see this, please hire me!